Thoughts on Fame

fame
noun
1.
the state or quality of being widely honored and acclaimed [ant: infamy]
2.
favorable public reputation [ant: infamy]



Fame is something that's always fascinated me. Because I never understood how being a Christian and being famous could mix. Yet people seemed to either want it for themselves, or latch onto it like a lifeline, perhaps to make themselves look important. It's not something that I ever admired. I guess because from a very young age my best friend, my first love, was Jesus, and who can possibly compare to Him?? No one else really impressed me, and rightly so. It was the Jesus IN people that I admired. I have an uncanny ability to see Him in people...the REAL Him, not something phony. I can spot phoniness from a mile away.
What impresses me in a true servant of Jesus, is their heart...which, if you look hard enough at someone, always shines through. Someone who doesn't seek to impress. Someone who personifies humbleness and meekness. And someone who always puts God first and gives Him all the glory. Someone who points people to God...who will bend over backwards not to draw people to themselves, but to God, for the answers they seek. The love they crave. And the relationship they desire.
Being a servant of Christ and of His people is pretty much the opposite of fame. Should anyone, as a Christian, seek fame? I don't think so. We should strive to make Jesus famous. I've watched fame, or brushes with fame, do some scary things to people. And then, there are a select few who take fame in stride. Who make it no big deal. Who are even embarrassed by the fame their success has drawn. Because they know it's not about THEM. It is about the One who blessed them with their gifts and the ability to succeed.
I urge anyone looking for notoriety and fame to think about that. To earnestly seek God with all your heart. And never, EVER think it's about you.
And as for the other side, think about how you view those who are famous. Do you expect perfection? Put them on a pedestal that belongs only to God? Perhaps fans are the problem. Maybe it's a vicious cycle. Something more to think about.
In Matthew 22:37-38 Jesus said, "'You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.This is the first and greatest commandment."
Living our lives outside of this is what seems to cause trouble. So if we live our lives according to this, it puts it all in perspective. And what the world views as "famous" pales in comparison to the greatness that belongs to God alone.

It's weird how you can connect so closely with people...yet are never permitted beyond the outskirts of their lives. I mean, all that is really in God's hands, but when you feel so called towards something...called to pray for, support, embrace, and get inspired for someone else's vision...but never get to take part in it...it's a lonely thing. There's a part of me that hates standing in the shadows. Growing up, I always thought I'd be somewhere right up front, basking in the spotlight. But obviously that's not God's plan for me.

I've gotten a lot of confirmation from God that I'm on the right track lately...but no real direction on where to take it. More of like...here it is, little by little, step by step....take it slowly & you will see Me unfold the plan... It's quite exciting on one hand, but on the other, it requires a LOT of patience. (Sigh.) When things take years & years to come to fruition, perseverance and BOLD faith are very much required. So I need to cling tightly to my Father during these times. Let Him hold me. Let Him be all I need. And try not to do anything out of selfish ambition. Or desire attention for my obedience. Or rush things along. It's a hard calling that has GREAT rewards when they do come, but the fulfillments are few & far between. I have peace in knowing that I am holding up the arms of a great mouthpiece of the King when it becomes weak. And knowing that I am making a difference. But beyond that, it's just more of the ordinary every day normalcy. I get bored pretty easy. Contentment is not my strong suit. I tend to be restless. And the more I taste, the more restless I become.

God is doing great things. I have no clue what the future holds. But I am learning to rest in my part in destiny.

Matthew 6:6
But when you pray, go away by yourself, shut the door behind you, and pray to your Father secretly. Then your Father, who knows all secrets, will reward you.

Wow I haven't blogged in awhile...guess I got sick of the whole "blog" thing pretty quickly. ;) I have had way too much on my mind and on my plate lately, so although I probably could've written about many numerous things, I chose to keep them to myself. Thing is, the enemy has been playing with my mind FAR too much lately & I'm fed up with it. I'm sick of the lies, tired of the attacks. Today was the last straw. I've been working out consistently for the past 5 weeks or so, hardcore!! I've been exercising pretty regularly for over ten years now, for weight loss, but my weight had creeped back up a lil bit so I finally bit the bullet & went back to my ole school KILLER workouts to kick off these extra pounds that I HATE! Well I happen to hate exercise, always have. I never get up & ask myself if I wanna exercise, cuz my answer will always be NO!! I just get up & do it to get it over with. Well today I let myself ask the question, and my answer was no, and I ALMOST listened. I entertained the lies the enemy has been throwing at me lately..."what's the point...this isn't working...you always try & fail...why work so hard??...it's not worth it....just go back to bed & wallow in your loser-ness." (Yeah he makes up dumb words!!) Well I knew what that would lead to. Me being depressed & feeling like a failure ALL DAY & I was NOT gonna do that! I grabbed onto God's strength, (cuz I had NONE of my own left!) and got up on the treddie & just DID it. And now I'm sitting here sweaty & very proud. Gosh there's no way I could do this without Him. All the weight I lost years ago, and my efforts to get this lil bit back off now, are all by His grace & strength alone. I know why the enemy is wanting to get me to quit. Cuz I don't just run on the treddie. It's my time with the Lord, every day....worshipping, praising, praying(my powerful prayers, which of COURSE the enemy hates!!)...when I run, I feel His presence in a way I never do anywhere else...it makes a huge difference in my day. And when I don't do it, I can FEEL it, believe me, both in my body AND my spirit.

All this to say, I am NOT letting the enemy mess with me anymore. His lies have been relentless....."you're no good....this isn't gonna work out...you're gonna be disappointed again....you're gonna be rejected....others get blessed, but not you...you will never have anything good...everyone else is better than you...God will never give you what you truly desire...you are in this mess & it's all your fault!" Yeah, stuff like that. I know why, too...it's because God has me set up for a huge victory, and WOW God is pressing me too, He's working on me so hard that it's overwhelming sometimes. But to whom much is given, much is required. And He is blessing me with a LOT and leading me in to even greater things. I declare that right now!! So, NO MORE, stupid devil! You can no longer have your way with me or anyone else that I love!!! STEP OFF!!!

Forgiveness...to Healing...

Luke 6 :27 "But if you are willing to listen, I say, love your enemies. Do good to those who hate you. 28 Pray for the happiness of those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you. 29 If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn the other cheek. If someone demands your coat, offer your shirt also. 30 Give what you have to anyone who asks you for it; and when things are taken away from you, don't try to get them back. 31 Do for others as you would like them to do for you. 32 "Do you think you deserve credit merely for loving those who love you? Even the sinners do that! 33 And if you do good only to those who do good to you, is that so wonderful? Even sinners do that much! 34 And if you lend money only to those who can repay you, what good is that? Even sinners will lend to their own kind for a full return. 35 "Love your enemies! Do good to them! Lend to them! And don't be concerned that they might not repay. Then your reward from heaven will be very great, and you will truly be acting as children of the Most High, for He is kind to the unthankful and to those who are wicked. 36 You must be compassionate, just as your Father is compassionate.
37 "Stop judging others, and you will not be judged. Stop criticizing others, or it will all come back on you. If you forgive others, you will be forgiven. 38 If you give, you will receive. Your gift will return to you in full measure, pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, and running over. Whatever measure you use in giving – large or small – it will be used to measure what is given back to you."



Forgiveness. It's something I've had to deal with on a certain level all my life, but I never had much of a problem with it. I'm a naturally forgiving person. I hate conflict, can't stand when people are mad at me. So it's easy for me to give in and smooth things over, for the most part. (Well, in every area of my life but my marriage, that is. When it comes to my hubby, I'm very stubborn & hate to give in! ;) ) I've pretty much gotten along with the people in my life, and I'm a likeable person. Actually the few times in my life when I've had to wrestle with forgiveness were in some pretty major situations. One of these, on the smallest scale, was about a year ago. A friend of mine, who I had known for about 3 years, did some things that pretty much ended our friendship. There were issues of trust, and betrayal, and mistreatment that had gone on for far too long. Certain events happened that were simply unfixable. I could have given in till the cows came home, and actually she asked me to, but the hurt was never dealt with. It was glossed over & dismissed. The more I tried to fix it, the worse it got. So I had to let go, give her to God, and end the friendship on my part. I didn't know for how long. But God told me to walk away. And almost a year later, we still have not spoken. This was one of the hardest things I've ever done. We were close...in the end I realized we were way TOO close, too soon. I trusted her with a lot of my heart, before I even knew if she was trustworthy. Which, it turns out, she wasn't. I've never been real careful about the friends I choose...in fact, I believe God is the one Who brings certain people into our lives for a reason. But not everyone is meant to be a close friend. A wise man chooses his friends carefully, the Bible says.

So, onto the process of forgiveness. This has been a really tough journey for me. She had such a hold on me through manipulation that I felt physically sick when I made the decision to stop communication, after a brief email explaining why I was being silent. The days and weeks that followed were very hard. But God kept assuring me I was doing the right thing, and that He was holding me, even as my comfort zone was falling apart. All I needed was Him, and I clung to Him desperately! One decision I made early on was to pray for her. And not just the obligatory prayers, but I began to pray abundant blessings over her, her family, and her life. This was NOT easy. I frankly didn't want her to be blessed! I didn't want harm to come to her, but I wanted her to be miserable without me, come to her senses, beg for my friendship back, and do a complete turn-around in how she treated me. Guess what? Never happened. I chose to keep my opinions of her & what had happened to myself, confiding only in a few close trustworthy friends who weren't acquainted with her(and therefore, nothing I said could harm their opinions of her), instead of spreading them around on the internet, harming her reputation. It was difficult, especialy since she was doing just that to me. But God kept assuring me I was doing the right thing. And I clung to that in my pain.

The other day a situation came to my attention, as has happened several times in the past year, that this friend is indeed being blessed. See, part of the problem was, she was using me in a way, to further herself. And it turns out, it's worked quite well for her. The things of mine she tried to get, she got. And even better than I had, in some instances. And may have harmed what I have in the process. So my dilemma is this. How mature am I? How strongly am I holding on to God's promises? This brings me to the verses above. I knew the "pray for your enemies" part...I knew the "do good" part. I knew to "bless and not curse." But even as the first step is praying for my enemies to be blessed, isn't the next step logically to know how to be happy for them when they are? Well, through my angry tears, this part dawned on me yesterday. And it was a MAJOR breakthrough for me. A huge step in healing my broken heart, which is still reeling from my loss. Can I really be that bold, that unselfish? Can I really leave it to God to work it out and not try to "vindicate" this myself through bitterness and envy in my own soul? Cuz I know that is counterproductive anyway. That will only hurt ME in the end.

God promises in these verses that when we give freely, and do not expect anything back from others, He will, in turn, bless us. And abundantly, in ways we can not even begin to imagine, even more than we can fathom! As Joyce Meyer says, based on other Scripture, He will give us "double for our trouble"! This is particularly healing for me in the areas which she has stolen things from me, cuz I'm not sure if they will ever be restored. That makes it more difficult. But those who have wronged us can never pay us back. Only God can. And in being obedient...by praying, and blessing & not cursing her...I am able to claim those promises. Now to THAT, I can sincerely say, PRAISE GOD!!! :)

It's been tough to recover from this. I am still learning how to not close myself off, but also to be careful and wise in friendship. This can make me seem unfriendly or rude at times, I'm sure. But I've learned a lot about boundaries, and who I am in Christ, and how to never let anyone control my life but Him. I am always learning. And again, I know that those whom God sends to love me will understand. So far, He has made it abundantly clear. :)

Big Enough

You turned water into wine - how extraordinary

Gave sight to the blind, still I carry

My own load when You told me

To take Your yoke ‘cause Yours is easy

And even though my issues seem trivial

You alone are never too imperial

It's just the way that You love me

It's enough to convince me

And I don't wanna box You in

You've been doing big things since the world began

Sometimes I just don't wanna believe

That You're big enough

You're big enough, yeah..

I don't wanna box You in

You've been doing big things since the world began

Sometimes I just don't understand

that You're big enough

But You're big enough Jesus

You turned darkness into light - keep my lamp burning

And You are my everything

There's no denying, Your love is so amazing

And even though my problems seem typical

Nothing for You is ever too difficult

You never have reservations

Love without limitations

And I don't wanna box You in

You've been doing big things since the world began

Sometimes I just don't wanna believe

That You're big enough

You're big enough yeah!

I don't wanna box You in
You've been doing big things since the world began
Sometimes I just don't understand
that You're big enough
But You're big enough...

Oh, no matter how I try to get around it - I'm reminded

Wherever I go I'm totally surrounded

It's all about You

I can never doubt You

Even if I wanted to…

And I don't wanna box You in

You've been doing big things since the world began

Sometimes I just don't wanna believe

That You're big enough

You're big enough yeah!

See I don't wanna box You in
You've been doing big things since the world began
Sometimes I just don't understand
that You're big enough
But You're big enough Jesus!!

~Ayiesha Woods

Prayer Warrior

Last week I was watching Faith & Fame, a show on the Gospel Music Channel that's kind of like a "Behind the Music" for Christian artists. This episode was about Amy Grant. Now, Christian music has been a big part of my life since I was about 13 years old. And Amy Grant was my gal! LOVED her! Back then, in Christian music, there was pretty much her, Michael W. Smith, Petra, and Stryper. And my church never approved of Christian music (long story, I'm sure I'll get into it someday..but I went to a Lutheran church that pretty much thought that anything outside of our particular branch of the denomination was evil.) So, anyway, Amy was my hero. I wanted to be just like her. Went to church all my life, but her music was a turning point for me. Me & God were tight, but her songs showed me how to have a real relationship with Him. My first step of learning to fall in LOVE with Him. Changed my world....and I looked up to her like no one else. Well fast forward quite a few years, as many of you know, there was the whole divorce issue, how she divorced her first husband Gary Chapman (who I also LOVED!) and married Vince Gill. I was furious about that for a long time. During the time she was "friends" with Vince, I was living down in Nashville(lived there bout a year & a half...more on that later too no doubt..) and the gossip down there was that they were seen around town together, A LOT, when she was still married, acting totally inappropriate. And I remember thinking, "why isn't anyone confronting her on this??" So yeah, the divorce was final, she remarried, and I judged her for quite awhile. Many deep issues inside of me caused this to hit a big nerve. But as I watched the re-telling of her story on TV last week, it hit me. I didn't hold it against her anymore. I didn't judge her. It hit me HARD......had I ever prayed for her back then? Prayed for her faith? Prayed for her marriage? I had been a fan of her music, bought the T-shirts, gone to concerts, dreamed of meeting her....but had I ever spent time on my knees on her behalf? So how on earth could I judge her? And what burned me too was, hearing again how badly she was judged by the Christian music industry. Pulling her music off the shelves, cancelling shows, shunning her. It made me wonder...how many of THESE industry people ever said a prayer for Amy Grant? They knew what she was going through....they were the ones "gossiping" about her & Vince. Not confronting in love, but talking about it in shameful tones...and releasing pictures in papers & such.

Prayer for artists has always been a passion for me. I believe that every person who has been touched by the music of any artist should be blessing them back by lifting them up in prayer. Yes, the music is all about God. Their ministries point us to Him. But how often does anyone think about how much sacrifice is involved on their part? Marriages can be strained, families are kept apart for days on end, both by touring and studio time. The industry shoves them thru the ringer, time & time again, with obligations, appearances, album deadlines and vigorous touring.....and then when their faith proves tested, they abandon and judge them. That's more reality.

This prayer calling was birthed in me when I discovered a group that no one had ever heard of before, called DC Talk, in 1989. Once again I reached a turning point in my faith. Their songs, written by a young man named Toby, inspired a love for God in me on a whole new level. And in a style I had already fallen in love with(in secular music, which I was uncomfortable with because of my strong convictions) called rap...hip-hop....urban music. Plenty of it here around Motown. :) But these songs not only had the beat I loved, but lyrics that drew me closer to God and His love for me. Once again I was hooked. And once again I looked up to the one who God had used to reach me. But this time, God was nudging me further. I began praying for the songwriter. My eyes were opened to real life, how hard this lifestyle must be. I met Toby in 1991. We talked for awhile & became friends over the years, since I kept praying, writing him encouraging letters, attending shows & supporting him....being a friend he could trust...thru the dctalk years, thru now the tobyMac years, up & down in the natural career highs & lows. He is truly my brother in every sense of the word. And honestly, prayer is a beautiful thing between friends. God shows me exactly when I need to pray and what to pray for. I feel a literal burden. And I've experienced the joy of hearing from him how my prayers are felt, at just the right time, and have made a difference. People have NO IDEA the impact their prayers can have....when an artist is struggling in their own faith, their own life, their own marriage, their own family. When the passion isn't there. When the creativity is gone. And yes, when insecurity and doubt, giant darts thrown by the enemy, are sent to pierce their very souls. My mission is to be the shield that protects his heart. And prayer is a blessing we ALL can give.

In discussing this with a friend awhile ago, I felt God nudging me further in this. Maybe I'll write a book or something. Because I believe people should know. There are real people behind those songs that touch your heart so deeply. God has given these musical gifts to some of the most wonderful and talented people for YOUR benefit. Thank Him for that today. And next time the music stirs your soul, send a prayer up for the one who wrote it.

Bloom Where God Plants You

I used to see this saying everywhere when I was younger...around college-age..."bloom where God plants you.." It made NO sense to me. My mom always thought that was funny. "That is perfect for you! And you don't get it?" Nope. Not a clue. She tried to explain that it meant we are right where God wants us, and if we are content with that, we will bloom and blossom and grow in His best for us. Also, not to wish you were somewhere else. Or want what you don't have. Which, as I stated before, was always a weakness of mine.

That being said, the point of this blog is cliches. Spriritual cliches. Christianese. The way a lot of Christians talk. Especially in churches. I've never been a real "Praise God!!" type of person. I didn't grow up in a church that said those type of things...but even when I started going to churches like that, it seemed very fake to me. OK I believe there are a few people who naturally talk like that, and MEAN it. That's totally cool. But when I hear fake sing-songy voices saying "oh that's WONDERFUL!! Praise the LORD! Thank You JESUS!!" well.....I'm wondering, do they honestly say these things from their heart, or are they trying to sound "spiritual" and puffed-up? I honestly think that new Christians have so much to learn, and maybe they think they're SUPPOSED to talk that way. And if they don't talk that way, they're not godly enough. Oh that saddens me. I'm here to say, that is NOT TRUE. It is possible to love Jesus with all your heart, live only for Him, and never utter a "Praise God" for weeks upon end. :) Christ died to give us freedom, along with salvation, of course. And He destroyed the barriers between us & God, so we could be ourselves with Him, to come to Him in our broken reality. I guess it all ties in with the "acting perfect" thing. We are not talking to impress people, we are called to speak words of truth that will build up & encourage. REAL words of truth, not feel-good, sound-good cliches with no depth that don't help at all. We are speaking TO other people, to bless THEM, not ourselves. Once again, just be real. Everyone is different. Speak in a language people can relate to. Speak the WORD to them, and then show them how it applies to their life...your real struggles & how God has ministered to you. I've been a Christian my whole life. My relationship with God is REAL. Good, bad, AND ugly. I don't always address Him as "Father God...Most Holy One of Israel...Lord God my Savior....I praise You...I thank You...I worship You...You are so good...." He knows these things already. And He knows I know them. He wants me to bring Him my HEART, the nitty-gritty stuff, the deep-down junk, my real self, warts & all. So that's how I talk to Him..."Lord, help me...show me....this hurts.....what's going on here...I don't understand...I'm not happy with this...You've disappointed me...I love you so much, but I don't get it...what are you doing??" My Lord, yes. My Savior, yes. But my Friend, my Father, my Brother, My Lover? Oh most definitely! REAL. Honest. Open. Safe. But most of all...real. So this is how I talk to Him. And when I pray even in a group setting, I speak from my heart. Personal. No fancy words, no spiritual phrases, nothing to impress those around me. Forgive me, but that is another pet peeve of mine. Talk to HIM, not anyone else. Others in the room should never matter. Prayer is deeply personal between you and God. It's not the time for fanciful phrases. "Wow that was a great prayer!"...wait a minute...doesn't that sound funny and not right somehow? It should. People were impressed...but was God? We shouldn't even be seeking His approval when we pray. He can't love us any more than He already does. We already have His approval. He wants our HEART, our communication...honest...open. No one else matters in that moment. Just us and Him. I believe people need to SEE what that real kind of relationship with Jesus looks like. Or there are countless people who will never feel "good enough" or "spiritual enough" to ever talk to Him or measure up to others in the church, who they perceive as "spiritual" and have it all together. We owe it to each other to drop the pretenses & be REAL.

I understand that I may strike a nerve with all this. But I've spent a few years observing God's people, and I honestly don't believe there's much of this reality out there. People are too afraid to speak the truth. But I really have nothing to lose. And I hope it lets some people off the hook so they can relax & enjoy their relationship with God. :)

Oh...and "bloom where God plants you"...? It IS true.....you really should.... ;)