This is Love calling, out to the broken

What to do when your heart gets broken? Wallow in it? Seek revenge? Withdraw into loneliness? I think I've tried all of these. But honestly, the first one probably describes me best. I've nursed a broken heart for WAY too long. It's time to heal.

There are a few things I have to face...one of which, is the FINALITY of my situation. Part of my heart still doesn't want to believe the truth. Still...after a long, long time. A piece of my heart still wants to believe that someday...maybe.... But this dream is over for me. It was over a long time ago. And I think I've finally realized how to really get over it. I think healing truly comes when we are able to be strong in facing the things we need to face, and only break down in the presence of a loving Heavenly Father who will hold us as our heart breaks. And so, I put on a brave face in front of everyone and move on with my life. And when the memories come, and reality hits, and I feel the pain invading me....I retreat to a place that only God and I know about...a place where I can grieve my loss, and cry out to Him, and sob till I can't breathe...and know that only He truly understands. Pretending that there is nothing wrong won't work. But pouring it into the Father's hands is the only way to let Him heal what is broken, fix what's been hurt, and assure me that He really will work out my past for my good, and has given me something better. Even when it's hard to believe. I just need to wait and see.

Someday I think it will get easier. I may be able to look at those memories with a smile, with a gladness of heart for what I once enjoyed...and rejoice that those times aren't really over, just different. And I will see the beauty in all I have left...the amazing life God has given me...the people who truly love me and always will. And the healing balm on my heart feels a lot like gratitude for God's goodness.